Supporting Your Child Through Grief: A Parent’s Guide to Talking About Loss

Supporting Your Child Through Grief:
A Parent’s Guide to Talking About Loss

 

Talking about death is hard, at any age: For children, open and honest conversations are one of the most meaningful ways to support their healing. When you create space for your child to share their feelings, questions, and fears, you help them make sense of a confusing and painful experience.
You don’t need to have all the answers. What matters most is that your child knows they can come to you, be heard, and not feel alone in their grief.
Here’s how to start:

Be honest and keep it simple. Use clear, age-appropriate words. Saying “they died” is more helpful than vague phrases like “they went to sleep” or “they’re in a better place,” which can confuse or frighten kids.

Validate all feelings
Let your child know it’s okay to feel sad, mad, confused, or to not feel anything right away. Grief is not one-size-fits-all.

Keep routines and provide reassurance
Structure and predictability help kids feel safe. Let them know who is taking care of them and what to expect.

Model healthy coping
It’s okay for your child to see you sad. It teaches them that feelings are manageable and normal.

Answer questions (Even repetitive or anxiety provoking ones)
Kids ask the same things again and again to process. Putting language to their feelings
will help them move through the experience in healthy ways. Be patient, and keep
answers consistent and reassuring. Remember, no matter how many questions and how complicated the answers may be, children are seeking a way to make sense and find comfort above all else.

Grief in children often looks different than it does in adults.

It doesn’t always show up as tears. Children may express big feelings and fears through behavior, play, or even physical symptoms.

Grief is a natural, healthy response to loss. Most children don’t need therapy just because they feel sad or scared. With time, comfort, and the chance to talk with someone they trust, many children are able to work through their emotions and begin to heal.

Still, parenting a grieving child can be painful and overwhelming. Knowing how to recognize the signs that your child is having difficulty processing their grief can help you decide when it’s time to seek additional support.

1. Changes in sleep or appetite
Trouble falling asleep, frequent nightmares, or a sudden change in eating habits can signal emotional overwhelm.

2. Physical complaints that show up out of the blue or with no clear cause
Headaches, stomachaches, or general “not feeling well” may be how their body expresses emotional pain.

3. Regressing to younger behaviors
Bedwetting, clinginess, tantrums, or trouble separating from caregivers may reappear as a way of seeking safety and comfort.

4. Trouble concentrating or participating in school
Grief can make it hard to focus, follow instructions, or care about school the way they used to.

5. Acting out or withdrawing
Some kids externalize their distress through anger or defiance. Others become quiet, distracted, or disengaged.

6. Excessive worries or fears about loss
They may ask repeatedly if other loved ones will die, or show anxiety about routines and separations.

7. Talking incessantly or refusing to talk about the loss
Children might ask the same questions over and over, or refuse to talk about the loss at all. Both are normal, and both can signal they need support.

If you’re noticing any of these signs, or simply feel unsure, consulting with a professional therapist about grief counseling can help you support your child through the loss and help your child express their feelings in a safe and supportive environment.